I’m writing here because of recurrent mental health issues I am currently in the middle of and their relation to my interpretations and responses to the world around me. I have recently found these mental health concerns to be overwhelming and worrisome and wish to work them out in a way that blurs the boundaries between public and private, society and the individual.
My interpretations and responses can be broadly termed left-radical. I am dedicated to learning the histories of social change movements, both on the right and left, and have take much influence from these as well as my brief experiences as a politically active human being. These knowledges have influenced me to critically examine all hierarchy and authority in the world and to participate in creating a world devoid of hierarchy. I feel this commits me to anarchistic philosophy and action, more fed by feminist, anti-racist, socialist, and ecological organizing than any study of anarchist principals per se.
My mental health issues consist of paranoia, loneliness, high tension, and waves of depression. Some of these are latent in my personality, I have struggled with depression on and off again since I was 15. Some are from my family’s medical history and their influence on me, my father has hypertension and has taken medication for it. Some are part and parcel of my move away from where I consider home, Austin, Texas. Some is attributable to the political and social atmosphere in which I find myself: constant expectation for political sharpening and participation, power abuses by police officers and school administration. Some are coming with the onset of a transition from school life to a life beginning outside of formal schooling, with the prospect of having to find meaningful work and how and to what degree it should be integrated with my political leanings.
As a young white able-bodied man from an petit-bourgeois background, coming of age in a time of broiling instability on a worldwide scale, I find myself negotiating the problems of the world in a way that has me constantly challenging my identity and relations with others. I believe that at its root this is a healthy practice. Yet the doubts, guilt, and angst this produces can become overwhelming and counterproductive. Often this has an effect on the way I encounter and plan for my future.
I hope to use this blog to more concretely describe my relationship with myself, others, and the outside world. I hope that it can be a conduit for negotiating the line between taking myself seriously and not seriously. The blog will be critical at its root, offering analysis, personal and political.